Lets party begin!

Me and U

The sky without stars is like sleep without dreams,  like a song without music, like a rose without smell, like a face…

U R Dead

Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ? To tell each other affectionately. .. Sweetheart U R Dead!…

FRIENDSHIP

Our FRIENDSHIP mean so much 2 me that if we were the last People on a Sinking Ship and having only 1 Life Jacket, I …

Gabbar and Kaalia

Gabbar sends Kaalia and two others to Ramgad to collect the loot-maar software he had ordered. They reach Ramgad and st…

God and Eve

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve called out to God... "Lord, I have a problem!" " What's the prob…

When you will die

Age8-ignore it..  age18-explore it.  age28-enjoy it..  38-ask 4 it..  48-beg 4 it..  58-pay 4 it..  68-pray 4 it..  78-…

Schedule for Software Engineers

8:30AM: wake up 8:45AM: Tough decision ahead...... To have bath or not. 8:50AM: Have To. 8:55AM: Bread & Jam + glas…

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Both your friend and enemy think you will never die.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa - mouse Push-up

My Wife

Police arrested a drunkard and asked: Where r u goin? Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking. Co…

Life Is Not

Life Is Not Just COBOL, It Is Also PYAR-KE-DO-BOL Life Is Not Just C-PLUS-PLUS It

An interview.

Interviewer : Give me the opposite words. Banta Singh : Ok Interviewer : Made in India Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakis…

Horoscope

Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You mak…

What is LOVE?

What is LOVE?

Every second is important.

Really funny

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz7UiJthSCw&hl=en_US&fs=1&]

DRIVE SLOW

There is always a 'DRIVE SLOW' board near schools. But not near girl's college. why? Because VEHICLES AUT…

Married

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what …

Enjoy the weekend, but not like this

Flirt

What is the height of Flirting? . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. Its When your love letter starts with &qu…

Beautiful

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?"…

Girls Hostel

A boy got a job in a girls hostel. After a month,

CHEERS!

Never think of the past it brings tears..

Amazing display of perfect balance

AIDS

A boy went into a prostitute.house and said he wanted an AIDS's infected prostitute. The woman at reception said ro…

Few notes you must read

In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN O…

Love

You want you get, that's luck, you want you wait, that's time. You want but you compromise, that's life. An…

How rumours start in the office?

Husband was missing

A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman a…

Crazy wife

A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond neckl…

???

A beggar meets another beggar. A software engineer meets another software engineer. Both of them ask the same question …

Have question?

Lady : Is this my train? Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady : Don't try to be funny. I …

What inside male brain?

Little change

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not insu…

Fnding your true self?

Always Smile

Smile is the way to solve many problems

You lie to your Mother

Sam invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John'…

Read each line a loud:

This is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is dumb ass cat This is busy cat This is…

TEST YOUR MATHS!

You can read only 1 time , OK? 2+7 +9 -5 +4 +8 -2 +5 -4 +12 -8 +2 THE QUESTION: How many times you press the button?

You merry me and spoil everything.

3 Things in life

Things in Life once gone will never cum back TIME,WORDS and OPPORTUNITY 3 Things in Life should never be Lost HOPE, LOV…

Wrong number

Lifetime

Whats the height of hope????... A 99 year old lady going for airtel lifetime recharge...!!

Propose your girl friend.

7 answers given by a girl when you propose her......  1)No 2) How bad thoughts you have 3)you are joking.. I wont belie…

You don't know

When you're young, you don't know, but you don't know you don't know, so you take some chances. In …

Be careful while enter

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MY CANDY BAR

Do you ever notice the importance of the last bite of the CANDY BAR?

Communication gap

Scary dream makes your heart beat faster, race like an engine.  Why doesnt that part of your brain that controls your…

Naughty Boy

A teacher in a one-room school house arrives one morning to find a nice red apple on her desk with a tag tied to it s…

I Love You

Follow

One Advice - Don't waste time like this..

Love at first

A person asked philosopher: "whats is the cure for love at first sight?" p hilosopher replied:"take a cl…

Turn head

A father was arguing with his daughter about her going out to a party. Shaking his head sideways he said he would not …

Water

I mixed RUM in water and got drunk. I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk. I mixed WHISKEY in water and got drunk again…

Marriage

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

Friends

Friends are like the walls of a house.  Sometimes they hold you up, sometimes you lean on them.  But sometimes, it…

Men Vs Women

One day, there was a catastrophic event that caused all living creatures on Earth to die. To sort things out, everyone…

Drunk Test

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Love letter

A smart love letter: There's a couple and they love each other deeply however, the girl's father does not like …

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“Fall down seven times; stand up eight.” —Japanese Proverb

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN

Dine her, Call her, Hug her, Hold her, Surprise her, Compliment her,

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"Life is great, if you’re tough enough to live it.” —Aunt Connie Gill

Rate yourself

If you answered four out of four questions correctly, you are a true professional. Wealth and success await you. If you…

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A Second

One day a man worships god and when god asks him for a wish then he says "O God I think that a crores of rupees ha…

Last child

Once a husband and wife lived in a old town, they had four kids the first three were slim and had brown hair, the last …

My God

A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing the following elements: 1. Religion 2…

God creation

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer …

Pray to God so you can live

Your friends - My friends

source: ncomment

Work hard very hard and give your 100%

ENGLISH FACTS

1. RHYTHM--is the longest word without vowels 2.word GIRL appearance only once in bible 3.FACETIOUS contains vowels in …

Hands up

"Hands up this is a bank robbery..pretty girls move left..handsome guys right...monkeys to the center..you there y…

Rope

Santa: could not stop laughing when he saw a truck being dragged by another. i asked why ? Santa says foolish drivers u…

See that also

Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it. Many complain of their looks, but none of their brains.

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"Young Gamblers, Old beggars"  - German

Devils

Last Night d Devils Came To My Room... They Wanted To Trouble Good People I Suggested ur Name  2 Them They Said 'OH…

Best moments

Some of the 'best' moments in life...lying in the bed listening to the rain outside, thinking about the person …

Life

Life is a paradox-what you want you don't get (love), what you get, you don't enjoy (marriage), what you enjoy …

Smile

One tree can start a forest, one smile can start a friendship. One touch can show you care, one friend can make life wo…

Future

Future life style: The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! your kids and my kids are …

Movie

Life is like a MOVIE... If you are sad - DRAMA If you are afraid - SUSPENSE If you are angry - ACTION When you look at …

So sweet

So sweet is your SMILE..... so sweet is your STYLE..... so sweet is your VOICE..... so sweet is your EYE....... see how…

Difference

Difference: It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE Vs ARRANGED. It's like asking someone, if suicide is b…

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The smile is like a simcard & life is like cellphone,  Whenever u insert the simcard of a smile,  a beautiful day i…

7 Glance

7 Glance = 1 Smile 7 Smile = 1 Meeting 7 Meeting = 1 Kiss 7 Kisses = 1 Proposal 7 Proposal = 1 Marriage - And that 1 Bl…

Some facts for you

Created by Online Education

Indian Hell

An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the G…

I am there

Never say you are happy when you are sad. Never say u r fine when you are not OK. Never say you feel good when u feel b…

How to make a woman happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy; a man only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. intellig…

Twitter

I am leaving twitter but whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy  my life is bigger then 140 words.

No. 1

According to one report next Bill gates either from India or China but whoooooooooo? YOU

A friend

A friend is 1% funny, 2% sweet, 3% caring, 4% loving, 90% good looking.That's why I am your friend! You are so luck…

GIRLS POLICY

Fraud with innocent boys; Fun with Handsome boys; Friendship with Smart boys; Love with Faithful boys; Marriage with Ri…

Follow OJOKE

A *smile* is a sign of joy, A *hug* is a sign of love, A *laugh* is a sign of happiness, A *Friend* like me is a sign o…

Social media class

Some time it really difficult to write on wall. haaaaaaaa

Facebook - My friends

THIS IS CRIME STORY

Four friends lived in a room namely Mad, Somebody, Nobody and Brain. One day Somebody killed Nobody. That time Brain wa…

Global warming

People will never realize the harm of GLOBAL WARMING or the GREEN HOUSE EFFECT. The words aren't just scary enough.…

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"INSIDE EVERY OLDER PERSON IS A YOUNGER PERON WONDERING WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED." -ARMSTRONG

Thank you

In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attemp…

Getting married?

Harassed Husband: Honey, I invited a friend home for dinner. Wife: What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, all the di…

Job

Santa got computer job first day he worked till evening, Boss was happy n asked what u did today? Santa-Keyboard alphab…

Real facts

Today we have bigger houses but small families More degrees yet less common sense Advanced medicines but poor health. T…

In Life

All Desirable Things In Life Are Either Illegal Banned Expensive OR Married To Others...................

Ages Of Drink

1 To 3 =milk 3 To 8 =Cerelac 9 To 13 = Horlicks 14 To 25 = Beer 26 To 40 = Wishky 41 To 60 = Tonic After 60…

Alone

Why India is in trouble? though population is 100 crore, because 7.9 crore is retired. 30 crore in state govt, 17 cror…

A poem

Exams are here where the marks are rare At the questions I stare, The answers r no where, Which makes me pull my hair A…

IF TITANIC WAS MADE IN INDIA

(1) There would b 10 times as many people on ship (2) There wd b a song with Kate Winslet in white saree sing in in the…

Problem

If, 1=5 2=25 3=125 4=625 5=? Think before scolling down. Ans is 1! Because the first line says 1=5. Moral: Don't co…

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"The first drink with water,the second without water,the third like water."- SPANISH

Cheat

How Does a Santa Cheat the Railways?? He buys the ticket but doesn't travel !!!!!!!!

Woman

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only."…

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"Make sure you are not irreplaceable: if you can't be replaced, you cant be promoted." --ANON

2006 love story

A 2006 love story... Hero loves heroine, but heroine loves villain, but villain loves hero sister, but hero sister love…

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When TITANIC was sinking, a man asks Santa, how far is LAND...? Santa : 2kms.... Man jumps into THE sea & asks &quo…

TITANIC

When TITANIC was sinking, a man asks Santa, how far is LAND...? Santa : 2kms.... Man jumps into THE sea & asks &quo…

Love

What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping and is responsible for making love? I…

Another friend

Never forward a sms from a friend to another friend, if your friend knows your other friend who is a friend of your oth…

LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.

Its funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being mu…

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"When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him." -Thomas Szasz

TIGER

A Tiger gives a wedding party to his friends. He saw a Cat dancing there. He asked "Who are you? How you came here…

A WOMAN

A HOUSE WITHOUT A WOMAN IS THE DEVIL'S OWN LODGING.

HUSBAND!

A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST. A person, who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE… A person who s…

INTERESTED

POST: True Friend ELIGIBILITY: Loving & Caring DUTY: To Love EXPERIENCE: Not Required SALARY: Never Ending Love JOI…

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"HE WHO DRINKS ON CREDIT WILL GET DRUNK TWICE" -(SERBIAN)

Marketing lesson

you propose a girl that is direct marketing, propose on phone that is tele-marketing girl slaps u: that is customer fee…

MONEY

THE QUICKEST WAY TO DOUBLE YOUR MONEY IS TO FOLD IT IN HALF AND PUT IT BACK IN YOUR POCKET.

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"SPEAK THE TRUTH BUT THEN LEAVE IMMEDIATELY"-- (SLOVENIA)

Learn English

Who Said English is Easy Fill this blank with Yes or No? 1. __ I don't have a BRAIN. 2. __I dont have SENSE. 3. __I…

Suicide

Frog : Santa ko dimag hota hai kya? Santa: Hota hai. Frog: Nahi hota... Santa: Hota hai. Frog yells 'Nahi hota'…

Discover

The man discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT, The woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP The man discovered the WO…

LOSE WEIGHT

TO LOSE WEIGHT.. The doctor told Santa that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At …

Bachelors

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. --Oscar Wild

Bachelors

"Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. " --Oscar Wil…

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There are two kind of people in life: People who like their job and people who don't work here any more.

Indian love story

Indian Love Story January - Rose February - Propose March - Gift April - Lift May - Chatting June -Dating July - Miss Y…

QUIT

Suicide is our way of telling God, you can't fire me --- I quit.

A psychiatrist

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children... "You all…

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"Law of nature always ensures that when one door closed another opened." ANON

Part of it

I love my eyes when you look into them, i love my name when you say it,i love my heart when u love it, and i love my li…

Heart

To live this Life , i need heartbeat,,, To have a heartbeat, i need a Heart,,, To have a Heart, i need Happiness,,, To …

Chicken or egg?

Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg? O yaar, jiska order …

Deepa

Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future? Sam : I want 2 b a pilot. James : I want 2 b a doctor. Deepa: I w…

Monkey

Whats wrong with ur cell? Tried calling lots of times. Every time I dial ur no. the operator says-The subscriber u r c…